I’m proud about it but I’m slightly embarrassed too.
Name at least 5 people who (are at least 23 years old) haven’t had a one night stand.Sadly, I couldn’t even think of 3 people.
I’m really not good at separating feelings and sex…or even just a little peck on the cheek.
I develop feelings quite easily, but I never
It’s not that I’m one of those who believes in “love at first sight”.
I previously mentioned how I’ve only kissed 3 boys in my life:
1. 1st kiss happened when I was already dating this guy for maybe 2 months. It was also kind of forced. And he used his tongue. So him using tongue on my first kiss ever was not a very good first kiss. I felt quite sick actually and I was confused even more about kissing and relationships in general. And I told myself- nope no more kissing anyone. I had feelings for this guy- kind of. But this kiss kind of taught me that they weren’t the lovey kind of feelings. I learned he just wanted a girl to kiss- didn’t matter if it was me or not. Figured that out when he dumped me for not doing enough.
2. This boy was suave and we were good friends for a few months. But this was the first time I experience mutual feelings. We were just laying in opposite directions on the couch watching dumb Christmas movies and then he told me to come lay closer to him so I did. Then we just cuddled a bit until I was about to fall asleep and then he leaned in and kissed me. And that’s what I consider my first real kiss. We weren’t even dating yet…but eventually began to date just a month later. And I think that was the first time I ever experienced love form.
3. This next boy I kissed was what I thought would be a” one night stand”. I downloaded Tinder (not proud of it) but one of the first guys to message me just happened to be someone my ex kind of knew. Also happened to be a boy that lived in my ex’s old house. I felt like a hoe. We just kissed. A few times.
Each time, it was never my idea to kiss. And it was never my intention to have feelings.